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CNN.com - really??

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Lear Lessons

From King Lear, Act III, sc. 4., a quote as timely for our own economic injustices as it is timeless about compassion. While you're at it, read this brilliantly-written review of Derek Jacobi's Lear, now playing at BAM. 

Poor naked wretches, wheresoe’er you are,
That bide the pelting of this pitiless storm,
How shall your houseless heads and unfed sides,
Your loop’d and window’d raggedness, defend you
From seasons such as these? O! I have ta’en
Too little care of this. Take physic, pomp;
Expose thyself to feel what wretches feel,
That thou mayst shake the superflux to them,
And show the heavens more just.

And while I'm at it, thank you thank you Mary Stein for having the ticket and wanting me there.
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Add One Word vi

In which I add one word to CNN.com headlines. See if you can guess which word I added! (Okay, two words in one case and punctuation in another.)

Latest news
  •     Obama to sign Wall Street "reform" bill
  •     Turbulence injures wimpy passengers
  •     Lockerbie bomber's press release blasted
  •     Intel nominee: I'm no ordinary 'hood ornament'
  •     Police: Couple left boy with dead-head sister
  •     Facebook contract mystery novel
  •     Apple has best-ever bicentennial quarter
  •     Jobless friends with benefits advance
  •     Ticker: Obama's TV special relationship
  •     Right-to-die billboard causes stir, accidents
  •     Panel: End drug's use in breast cancer panel
  •     Lesbian telekinetic teen wins $35K in prom case
  •     Whoopi drugged Behar during 'View'?
  •     This Just In: CNN's news blog neither
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Add One Word v

In which I add one word to CNN.com headlines. See if you can guess which word I added! (Okay, two words in one case.)

Gulf oil disaster
  • LIVE: More oil gushes into the Gulf
  • New cap, regulators, to get 'integrity testing'
  • BP gets bill from U.S. wildlife for $99.7 million
  • Full coverage | Extinction Tracker | Map | Photos
 Latest news
  • 'Barefoot bandit' pleads guilty conscience
  • U.S. aims to cut documented HIV cases by 25 percent
  • Bill Clinton to stump fifth-grader for Dems
  • Facebook sued over origin of 'friendship'
  • Robber who killed 5 promising kids executed
  • Venezuela opposition politician merely arrested
  • Gunman named Dobbs in New Mexico shooting
  • Best-ever quarter for Intel execs
  • Ticker: Campaigning senator makes 'birther' remark
  • Burqa ban moves forward cautiously in France
  • New abduction copyright claim in Kyron case
  • Airline bailout fees can make fare jump 50%
  • Bandit didst try to rob Amish buggy
  • Cheap wedding: No white dress, no black DJ
  • Winning hand found in gator's stomach
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I have you now

Gupta blog (or a blog with a very cool-looking Muppet that looks like Gupta) says that Darth Vader was borderline. This raised a couple of interesting questions for me:

First, what would the title of his self-help book be? Some thoughts:

Learner to Master: Sensing the Presence of Your Inner Self
Help Me Take This Mask Off: Your Children Aren't Your Enemies
You Have Failed Me for the Last Time: Leading With Conviction
The One Minute Murderer: Building a Team You Can Trust
If You're Not With Me, You're My Enemy: Better Boundaries for Better Living
Deep Breaths: Dealing With Your Dark Side

Also, what are some other supervillian diagnoses? The web is good for this one:

http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/4278842
http://www.toonzone.net/anbat/arkham/
http://www.thesuperheroquiz.com/villain/

In the end, maybe there's no better explanation than "Officer Krupke," from West Side Story:





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(no subject)

Since we're all here, I'd like to establish a few things:

I've never liked Conan O'Brien and I'm not about to start. Yes he got a raw deal, yes he's been classy about it, but I still think he's a slacker idol who encouraged everyone to act like they already knew everything and they felt superior enough to make fun of anything.

I've never heard an entire song by Lady Gaga. Nothing against but I'm not rushing to. She sounded good on Gossip Girl that time.

Yes, I love Gossip Girl.

I've never seen Mad Men. I will. Alright?

It's "Trekkie." "Trekker" sounds like a shoe.

Things I don't want to know about the continuing tragedy in Haiti: Which celebrities are helping. How volunteers who have arrived there feel. Further confirmation about piles of bodies. Each new survivor's story. Whether Anderson and Dr. Gupta are going to do an album ... okay, well, maybe I'd buy that album, but you get the point.

Yes, I say "album."


upsidedown

Add One Word iv

In which I add one word in an attempt to make headlines funnier. See if you can guess which word I added:

Latest news
  • Tiger unavailable, breakfast police again are told
  • Cellphone pics cause of Woods accident
  • Questions about crash dummy unanswered
  • Warrant issued in First Thanksgiving slayings
  • Holiday sales up, slightly
  • Anti-WTO protest logo turns violent
  • 5 dead, 10 critical, unforgiving, after van, truck collide
  • New seasonal flu and vaccine approved
  • Flu fear coming on? Eat these foods
  • Deadly train crash monologue called 'act of terror'
  • 3 materialistic Americans killed in China plane crash
  • Ticker: Topless club customer holds no 'grudge'
  • This company took slave jobs from China
  • Nominate a CNN Flood Hero for 2010
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Add One Word iii

In which I add one word in an attempt to make headlines funnier. See if you can guess which word I added:
  • LIVE: Hourly update on spread of H1N1
  • Fort Hood suspect charged with murder, period
  • Obama to hold jobs during forum
  • John King gardener replaces Lou Dobbs
  • 'Balloon boy': My parents to plead guilty
  • Young sugar mom vanishes from shower
  • Mom: Hospital hand-dryer irradiated my baby
  • Ticker: Palin talks Primo Levi on Oprah
  • Cops: 5 bloodsuckers dead in 2 burned homes
  • Robbers return armed soldier's money
  • 1,000 new Michael McDonald's?
  • 1 million Xbox Live players banned, pwned
  • Britney Spears' Twitter account hacked, waxed
  • Girl puppy sneezes 12,000 times a day
  • Vote now for 2009 CNN Bailout Hero of the Year
napodyna

"Add One Word" ii

In which I add one word in an attempt to make headlines funnier. See if you can guess which word I added (okay, in two cases I added two...):
  • Feds: Scientist tried to sell empathy secrets to Israel
  • CNNMoney: Apple gets boost from Mac, iPhone, loneliness
  • 32 M-Class planets discovered outside solar system
  • Balloon family feels happy 'under siege,' lawyer says
  • Cafferty: What to do with acid with balloon boy's parents?
  • Thieves, classmates, lurking for Facebook, Twitter users
  • Feds: Go after pot traffickers, not patients, man
  • $5M African leadership prize email goes to ... nobody
  • Ticker: Republican skydiver takes on Obama over Iran
  • 90% of Afghan women abused, NGO donation form says
  • Medical drinking society boots octuplet mom's doc
  • Mid-level MTV star arrested on DUI charge
  • Parents upset by 'Where the Wild Things Are' accuracy
  • Ancient amphitheater yields wacky relic actor
  • Four more obnoxious attitudes in the office
  • Mike Rowe sits on 'feces from every species'
  • Colbie Caillat may give hip-hop "thing" a try
  • Vote now for 2009 CNN Adultery Hero of the Year
  • CNN Suspense Wire: Former government scientist...